Archive for July, 2009

Wives: You are not his conscience!

Tuesday, July 21st, 2009

by Kristin

In the past year, I have read a few good books on marriage and being a godly wife. One thing I came across which I thought was particularly applicable to the wives of today was the truth that we are not our husband’s conscience. God did not give wives to men for the purpose of convicting them of their sin and ridding them of all their bad habits. If He did, then you would expect a wife’s nagging and criticism would instantly transform a man because God would be working through it. But He isn’t, because that is the opposite of what He intended for husbands and wives.

At the beginning, when God was looking over His creation, He said: “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him” (Genesis 2:18). Wives, God made us as a helper. Not a coach, not a prosecuting attorney, not a judge, but a helper. God’s created purpose for us was to lend our wholehearted support to our husband’s vision, his goals, his dreams (within the bounds of God’s law). This is how we ‘build up our house’ like a wise woman (Proverbs 14:1) and bring glory to God (Titus 2:4-5).

You may be tempted to think: “But if I don’t say anything or show him that he’s doing wrong, he’ll make pagans out of the kids with the stuff he’s letting them watch on TV,” or “he’ll keep getting us lost every time he drives us somewhere,” or “our house will look like a dump because he is too lazy to fix the screen door,” or “he’ll never do anything good, and he won’t grow as a spiritual leader.”

Consider this: No man has ever crawled out from under his wife’s criticism to achieve greatness.

Consider this: Your disrespect for your husband will ultimately be a greater destroyer of your children than his bad habits.

Consider this: You are interfering with God’s work in his life with your critical spirit. You are failing to be obedient to God yourself, and you are failing to trust God for the outcome.

If you want to change your husband, you must do it God’s way: “Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear” (I Peter 3:1-2).

Be submissive. Be respectful. Trust God and obey Him.

Be encouraging. Encouragement is by far a better motivator of men than criticism is.

Be loving. Be supportive. Make your home a haven for your man, not a battle zone or a courtroom.